Dear Single Black Sistas, You Have To Settle For Mr. Available
The collapse of marriage among blacks is well documented (see chart), but not the sexual, psychological, emotional and social toll this has taken on black women. Seven out of ten are single. Of the others, many are forced into “man-sharing”.
~ From Unmarried black women, Down or out: A black male professor kicks up a storm about black women and marriage.
According to his new book Is Marriage for White People? How the African-American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, Ralph Richard Banks, the Stanford professor of family law says the crisis in the black “relationship market” starts with a “man shortage”.
About one in ten black men in their early thirties are in prison. As a group, black men have also fallen behind in education and income, just as black women have surged ahead. Two black women graduate from college for every black man. As these women rise into the middle class, the men stay in the lower class, becoming less compatible.
Many black women respond by “marrying down, but not out,” But that makes bad marriages. Two out of every three black marriages fail, about twice the rate of white marriages.
The real problem is the behaviour of those few black men who are considered good catches. They often stay unmarried for the opposite reason: they have too many options. As one man told Mr Banks: “If you have four quality women you’re dating and they’re in a rotation, who’s going to rush into a marriage?” Even black men who nominally commit to one woman are five times as likely as their white counterparts to have others on the side.
Majority of black men in America are sliding down the scale of preference in the social hierarchy as the facts have shown that they are lagging behind the men of other races in America and most of them are either jobless or in jail and that leaves majority of black women in the lurch, betrayed and disappointed by black brothers who have failed to catch up with the Joneses in the rat race.
“We know it’s a struggle,” said an African American single woman, “but we women got to stand by the black man. If we don’t, who will?”
What a great faith and sacrifice for the self preservation of the Black race. But the upwardly mobile black men have failed to reciprocate the sacrifices of black women, because they would rather bend backwards to impress the White chicks than their Black sistas in the hood. They often lie that they are in a catch-22 situation, like the cliche of I cannot marry, because I don’t have a job or I can’t get a job, because, I haven’t got anywhere to live, but I can’t afford a place to live until I get a job. But the real problem is the BIG MALE EGO of being superior to the female.
Majority of single black women are faced with the challenges of the snobbish Black Alpha Men who are single and successful, but very few compared to the hordes of impish Black Average Joes in majority.
So, what is the solution to the dilemma of the multitudes of still single and still searching black women who can’t find enough eligible black men to marry?
My dear black sistas, you have to settle for Mr. Available if you cannot hook Mr. Eligible.
Dear black sistas in the hood, instead of being single and miserable, you better settle for the available black brodas.
Just stoop to conquer and make the best out of Mr. Available.
~ By Orikinla Osinachi
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