Do Events in Our Life Shape Us?
"It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean."
-Tony Robbins'
How do events shape our narratives and perspectives on life as artists, filmmakers and writers?
I don't totally agree with Tony Robbins' opinion, because the events of unforeseen circumstances in human lives have shaped the characters and attitudes of many people, especially the innocent children who don't have beliefs to define or determine their reactions to the events in their lives.
They simply react by their human nature as an earthworm reacts when you drop a pinch of salt on it.
What beliefs do children have?
They just want to survive and live happily.
Boko Haram terrorists strapped bombs to the waists of two innocent little girls who were totally clueless about bombs. They took them to a crowded market and pushed them to go into the midst of the crowd. Then left them. Minutes later, the bomb on one of the girls exploded and blew up the girl and killed those surrounding her. The second girl screamed in fear and shock; and trembling, she ran away from the crowd helplessly trying to remove the bomb strapped to her waist. Everyone was running away from her whilst she was crying and screaming for help. The bomb exploded and left her in pieces. People were crying, screaming, yelling and wailing at the horrifying suicide bombings. The innocent girls, daughters of the victims of the Boko Haram terrorists had been used as suicide bombers without their knowledge. The horrors of the tragedies of terrorism have altered the beliefs of many people in northern Nigeria to hate the Islamic religion, to hate their political leaders or to lose faith in Almighty God.
The loss of a beloved younger sister made one of the foremost educationists in south western Nigeria to become an atheist, because his cries, prayers and tears did not save the life of his sister. If God really existed, He would have been moved by his cries, prayers and tears. I could understand his unbelief shaped by the harrowing event of the loss of his beloved sister. I reached out to him before he passed on. Because, in our mortality, we cannot comprehend Immortality.
The catastrophic event of the internecine Nigerian civil war from 1967-1970 affected the psyches and shaped the lives of millions of Igbo children who were the worst victims of the war and actually has been more critical to my existential attitude to life and my faith into what is called Christian Existentialism.
And I agree with Jean Paul Sartre’s maxim that “man is nothing else but what he makes of himself”. But what he called the first principle of existentialism, another writer said, "flies in the face of a belief in a God greater than all of us.". What Sartre meant is, our choices in different circumstances of life will either make us succeed or make us fail in the world.
St. Augustine, the famous Catholic Philosopher and author of the classic, "The City of God" and other books was a Christian existentialist.
The critical events in our formative years shape the characters of most of us before the development of our beliefs.
I would not have been an artist and writer if my parents did not relocate our family from Obalende on the Lagos Island to Shomolu on the mainland of Lagos. I was only 13 when it happened and that disrupted my growing up, because I was separated from my childhood sweethearts and playmates in Obalende and in the St. Michael's Catholic Church in Lafiaji. To me, moving to Shomolu was a nightmare and I suddenly became an introvert and being called the "Monk of Morocco Ville", because I preferred to stay indoors after returning from school. Morocco Ville was the name of the bungalow where we resided at the Morocco Bus Stop on the Bajulaiye Road in Shomolu. I did not like the other children in the neighborhood. And I became engrossed in reading books and daydreaming and started drawing, painting and writing.
Parents don't know that relocations can affect and alter the development of the characters of their children. Relocations can cause depressions in children if you don't discuss with them before relocating your family to another environment.
Children are innocent of our beliefs and choices in life.
No child asked to be a victim of circumstances in the existential realities of life.
No child asked to be born poor or rich.
Before we take decisions on the affairs and situations in our lives, please let us think of how the consequences will affect our innocent children and their future in the world.
Author of "Children of Heaven" and other books distributed by Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Tower Books and other booksellers.
